Have you ever watched those chick movies where the women have these friends who would basically do ANYTHING for each other including break them out of jail or help them bury a body in the dessert... And no matter what they did, even if they didn't agree with it, they stood by each other and there was always that unconditional love and respect??? (Examples are movies like
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
,
Moonlight and Valentino
,
Practical Magic,
Witches of Eastwick
,
Thelma & Liouse
, etc... You get the friendship level I am talking about???)
Did you ever envy them of the relationship they had? Those bonds that are so unbreakable that in the end, they are better people for having each other around? Well, I happen to be VERY blessed to have a couple of those kind of people in my life, and I know just how rare that is and how blessed I am to have them. They have become "Sisters" to me and Aunties to my children. They are every bit a part of my family in every way that matters. (We don't see blood relation the way most families do as our children are adopted and blood bond or not, they are a part of every cell in our bodies... Family isn't about blood... it's about love and heart... connection and trust. You know... All those things that REALLY matter...)
So, because these "Sisters" are such a huge part of my life, they do not get a 'pass' when it comes to my blog... :) They have a hand in who I am as a person... and let's be honest... they are just as "bat-shit-crazy" as I am NOT to include their stories in my blog... Sorry ladies, but you know I am right.
My blog victim today is my Life-Partner, (LP for short), Rickie Lee. She & I met at a "MEETING" while wandering down our spiritual path to enlightenment. (And YES... we are still wandering... )
So, when I say "meeting"... hmmm... how to put this.... OH ya, that's right.. being "real" now.
Translation? We met at a coven meeting. Yes I said COVEN... witches... magic... blah blah blah... OK, so do you feel that JUDGMENT that MAY have just come into your head about who or what I am??? Well, it was for that very reason that I used to tell people we met at a "Book Club", because, HEY when we were at the coven, we looked at books! Besides, it used to be easier than dealing with the issues other people attached to to word Coven, Witch, Shaman, etc. BUT... The more I denied that side of me I began to feel like a hypocrite... (hmmmm, there is that word again.) I was afraid to talk about the many places I have been on this path to find myself & my truth... BUT, as you well know from my previous blog... I AM NOT HOLDING BACK ANY LONGER. This is me! My journey... and if I had not gone out searching for my truth in that place, I never would have met these women I call "Sisters". Yes, it was a lot of drama & Woo-woo crap... But some of the things I learned while in that environment were irreplaceable lessons that I could NOT have learned anywhere else. AND I found kindred spirits to help trudge through the bullshit. In the end the 3 of us walked away from it STONGER, WISER, and FOREVER BONDED. I would do it ALL over again in a heart beat! (OK, I jumped track a bit, so back to RICKIE LEE!!!.. Later blog to follow on some of the crazy ass shit we did while in the "coven"... promise)
When I met Rickie I was in awe of how she was so young, beautiful & such a free spirit! She didn't hold back and she always had a skip in her step. She, I & our other Sistah Michelle, really bonded quickly. It was like we had know each other for lifetimes. We discussed everything and anything and our friendships became this anchor for me. I found myself more grounded and able to deal with things that normally would have sent me spinning. Rickie LOVED to challenge my "issues"... You see, after we left the coven, I was slowly becoming borderline agoraphobic & OCD. When I was out of my element I would literally have a panic attack, and I always planned for everything in advance in order to control the environment when I would have to leave my house. I preferred staying home, however, she forced me out of my house and into the world. She knew it was hard for me, but anytime I begin to slip back into my old ways, she is right there to call me out. Michelle is like me too. We call it "Going into our cave", and although we allow the other to go there... there is a time frame, and once it's decided that it's been long enough, you better expect a knock on your door with ice cream & chick movies! Rickie would freak me out because she NEVER planned for anything! EVER! She just lived on the fly and did everything spur of the moment. Now that just doesn't work for a control freak who needs her environment preplanned for every possible issue! Secretly I would love it when she needed something & I ALWAYS had it in my car or purse, because well, you know... I would spend HOURS the day before making lists and thinking out every possible outcome and roadblock, & then pack accordingly. I remember a trip we took together to Arizona to the "Celebrate Your Life" conference. She was so funny when she watched me get into the hotel room, I wiped down the phone, remote etc with disinfecting wipes, then removed the bedspread & NEVER walked barefoot in out room. Not her... she did it all without a care in the world. Then, when our flight home was screwed up and we missed our plane and had to stay an extra night "ON THE FLY", I was about to be committed! NO REALLY! I was that crazy woman at the airport counter crying to the woman behind the desk that I had a Son at home and nobody to take care of him and I HAD TO GET HOME NOW! I was in mid-panic attack when it all just broke down. My Hubby told me he would take care of our kiddo & to stop stressing & enjoy the extra night away. YA RIGHT! HAVE YOU MET ME? HELLOOOOOOO... So there I sat in our room, staring at the wall wondering how she was so damn calm! We began to talk about it and we both began to realize just how much energy I was spending trying to be 10 steps ahead of my life in order to "control" everything... No wonder I was so tired all the time & she wasn't! She began to really understand just how bad I had gotten and so did I... We started right then on working to help get "me" back... I am much better now, and it took a lot of "two steps forward, one step back" moments... and yes, I still tend to slip back into those ways when life hits me a little too hard. The difference now, is that I know if I stay too long in my cave or go too deep, she will be there to drag me out kicking and screaming all the way!
I have also learned that we keep each other anchored to life. Just being around each other or talking over the phone seems to take the edge off of whatever FREAK OUT we are having at the moment. We are like each others personal "prozac"!!! HA HA HA... No matter what the issues are in life, whenever it gets overwhelming, it is usually because we need to be near each other... just the other day, she called me and said, "What are you doing today? I need to get out of this house before I lose my mind." Well, because I was dealing with the emotions of losing my cat and trying not to think about the choices that I had to make, not to mention that this wasn't "Planned out" a day in advance so I felt this residual 'ping' of anxiety at the "spur of the moment" visit, I found myself searching my head in panic for an excuse as to why it was just not a good time... then, I took a breath... & said yes. We hung up, I looked around then resigned that my house wasn't perfect and that was OK... After processing all the emotions and having that moment of just letting it go, I realized I probably needed her visit as bad as she did. She walked in the door 30 minutes later, we hugged, and the stress just melted off us both. SO ya... She is pretty much REQUIRED to be in my life for like... FOREVER... :)
I still enjoy imposing my insanity on her in small doses, and she is now a Mom, and has learned that my obsessive planning and list making "IN MODERATION" can be quite helpful... we joke that if you could mesh us into one person we would have it made! :)
My Poor husband even puts up with our crazy tangents about this conspiracy & that crazy idea... and he has even conceded a time or two that we were right... (IN his words, "Looks like you crazy ass Hippie people were right about this one"...) We tell him as long as he keeps in line we will allow him in our future castle on our many acres where we plan to live totally off the grid with our chickens, goats, gardens, and weapons arsenal. And we will build him a cottage/man cave where he can escape our shenanigans now and then. He may be under the impression we are joking... hmmm.. :)
She is an amazing artist who paints from a place that translates into her art. Her paintings evoke many emotions and you can 'feel' it when you see them in person even more than in photos. I find it funny when she sends me a photo of something she is working on and of coarse I love it, but then... when I see it in person, it just reaches out to you and evokes an emotional response. Sometimes it is sexual, or sad, or powerful, or even dark but regardless, it has an energy in it that is undeniable. (
You can see her latest @ RickieLeeArt.com)
I have an amazing painting of hers in my living room, and some days when I feel a bit less than my empowered self, I just sit in my chair with my coffee and breath as I look at this amazing painting that is all about who I know I am inside... This painting has a way of helping me remember who I am.
Rickie knows the very worst and best parts of my soul & she still loves me. And that goes both ways. When I look at her and all we have been through, she is still that young, beautiful, free spirit that I met many lifetimes ago, and I am blessed to have her in my life! Thank you LP for everything you have done for me and will do for me. I could not make it through this insanity without my partner in crime. I love you!
I pray that every person has someone in their life they can count on to be that anchor in the storm... We all deserve to connect on a spiritual level with someone.
Have a great week...
Namaste' & PEACE OUT!
Franki Lynn
Exhibit A- I came to bed the other night to find a box under my covers. When I asked what it was and why it was in my bed, he simply replied, "It's a 'just because' gift... I know I haven't been here much and you have not been given the time with me you deserve and so I wanted you to know I was sorry and I am thinking about you." So I open it and I got a bit giddy... Yes, I said GIDDY... You see, this is something I have wanted for a little while, and my BFF LP had just got one, and I fell in L.O.V.E. with hers and just HAD to get my own! It would be perfect because we can trade shells when we get bored with them! I looked inside the box to find a Miche Bag of my very own! Oh, & not just ANY Miche Bag, but the giraffe print with red trim! SO FREAKIN CUTE! If you don't know what they are you are missing out. They are purses with interchangeable shells! You just lift the inner shell out and put it into the one you want. No more unpacking to change purses for me! Now the hardest part of my future purse shopping is choosing what shells I want next... ;) 
So why oh why then, when my man climbs into bed, looks deep into my Soul, and has that same intensity about him, do I literally feel as if I cannot breath and that he is about to suffocate the life from me? Why do I get freaked out and actually find myself almost gasping for air as if I have a pillow over my face? Is it really a control thing or is it something else? 
