The Good The Bad & The ANNOYING!

Let's start with the Good:
 I love it when my Hubby looks at me with his piercing green eyes in that way that STILL gives me butterflies and makes me believe I am as beautiful as he sees me to be.
I Love it when TJ & I play Wii fit and whether its hula-hoop or ski jump, we seem to end up laughing so hard we fall off the Wii Fit Board... His laughter is so contagious and his smile hits you in the heart like lightning.

I also love it when I am rocking my MJ and he holds my hand and snuggles in a little more than normal.  That feeling when your heart expands and is just ready to burst... It is the best feeling in the world!  I cannot imagine my life without my boys. (All 3 of them)   They truly do feed my soul... (Yes some days they also drain my soul... honesty is a must... but most days I believe I am filled.)

The Bad:

My Mother is currently caring for her Father in her home. (My Grandpa)  He is 97.  He has lived a full amazing life... He has outlived 3 wives, and survived black lung as a lifetime coal miner.  He has been on Hospice a few months now, and made the comment to my Sister a while back, "I just don't know what I am waiting for."   He has been ready but his body has not... Until now... it seems his body is starting the process now... He has decreased his food intake to nothing but hot chocolate. His blood pressure is dropping, and now his lungs are filling with fluid due to an URI.  I am 4 hours from Mom, and I am unable to be there to help.  I don't like feeling helpless, but even more I worry about my Mom.  Her health isn't the best and she is watching her Father die.  Her time with him up to now has been a true gift, and once he is gone, she will cherish the time she was given to care for him.  The hard stuff will be worth it all... But right now... it just sucks.  I am sending love and peaceful thoughts to them both.  I talk to her by phone & reassure her that she has done everything she can and is amazing to be able to do what she does every day.  I love my Grandpa and I wish him a peaceful crossing.  We had our goodbye the last time I went to Mom's.  As for my Mom... You are my hero in so many ways, & even though I give you grief for allowing folks to take advantage of your good will, or for being harder on your own kids than everyone else... But.... Honestly, I can only hope that if you leave this Earth before me, that I am blessed to have you as my Guardian Angel. You will be a force to be reckoned with!  :)



The Annoying:

P90X is a workout program designed by Tony Horton. (He is the goofball to the left...) For those who have not had the pleasure... just youtube P90X and find a video sample of this guy.   I admit, I hate to exercise so that may be a factor in my inability to find humor in “Let's make it X like… not exlax that's somethin different” or During towel hopping when he says ‘let's get to it like bunny rabbits!’ There's even a blog on his sayings, really...   http://101tonyisms.wordpress.com/
OK, so I admit the workouts are tough! And yes I do hate them & love them... Mostly I love how I feel when I am done, and I love working out with my Hubby.  But seriously, I actually find myself bantering at the damn TV screen at this man! He has got to get himself a better joke writer & a slightly less inflated ego...  His annoyance is lost in translation... you really have to experience it to understand... You will either Love him or want to kick him in the nuts.  :)   I will keep doing this crazy workout until either he grows on me or I invest in earplugs while I do the workout... hey, there's an idea!


Well, that's it...  The weekend is wrapping up and Monday starts a new week of fun.   Enjoy the journey people... You only get each minute of your life once... Make it the best you can & get the most out of it.

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Alternate Reality... Can I borrow your "ruby red slippers" Dorothy? I wanna go home...

Is it just me or has the entire world shifted into an alternate universe where every person has lost their damn minds!?!?!?

All around me it seems that chaos has run a muck... People who I know to be 'mostly normal" seem to be losing it... There is this feeling in the air that everything is just a bit "off"... Like some shift has occurred and nobody bothered to tell anyone... "Oh hey, by the way... hold onto your pantyhose because your lives are about to be flipped on their asses!" Even my children are "off"...
It just seems very odd & has me sort of feeling on 'high alert'... I find myself evaluate everything for "signs" of whether or not this decision is o.k., or will this choice bite me in the buttocks?

It's like that "feeling" you get when you walk into a room of people & you know something just "isn't right"... Well in this case it is like that but for the whole world! (Or at least the world that immediately affects me & those I know...)

Has anyone else felt this... Going through this?
What do you do to deal with it? Usually I am the "Queen of compartmentalizing"... Unfortunately, ALL MY COMPARTMENTS ARE FULL!!! {Sick toddler, lack of sleep, Grandfather trying to exit life, P90X kicking my ass making me feel even worse about myself, friends losing it, war, animal cruelty, planetary abuse, alien abductions, government conspiracies, not to mention I JUST found out Medium & Ghost Whisperer have been canceled!}
Honestly.. I really can't deal with more than I have on my plate... ;)
Today I actually heard myself whine... really... That is it... I think a bottle of wine with dinner tonight along with a brownie for dessert is in my future!

Seriously though... I plan to take some advice from Miss Winfrey & take a minimum of 1 minute a day & be in silence & just breath. It is said to make you happier, & therefore I must assume better able to deal with this Crazy thing called LIFE!

Here's hoping next week finds us all back in the "flow"... This reality isn't for me.

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

To Blog or not to blog... is less more?

I have recently spent some time setting up my blog and making it look "pretty"...
I had noticed that my ads at the bottom seem to choose the ad type based on my blog content... So the fact that they are ads for drugs to treat schizophrenia and meds for when you "hear voices in your head"... well... lets just say, it really makes a girl think. Come on Google... I have also blogged about Coffee, Poop, Spirituality, and diapers... but no ads on those.... oh no...
I am not joking I even took a screne shot of it... Is the Universe trying to tell me something?!?

OK, seriously... Let me get to the point of today's blog...
I had originally planned to blog daily, like a journal. It worked great the first 5 days, then... all of the sudden... nothing major happened in my reality & I had nothing to say. Well, nothing GREAT, INTERESTING, FUNNY or SARCASTIC... "Now what do I do?"
Well, I blogged anyway, but with mixed reviews from "the peanut gallery" (That would be Hubby & BFF Life Partner)

So here is my question to the universe... (Because I am so new and have only a handful of followers and do not yet get much feedback... I will include "The UNIVERSE") :)
Riddle me this... Is it better to blog about whatever every day, or only blog when I truly FEEL it? I can honestly say I agree with them that my writing is 'funner' to read when I am really feeling it. And yes it "flows much better & is less Schizophrenic" as my darling Hubby refereed to my blog about the voices in my head... (BTW... I was FEELING schizophrenic... that was the point.) :D

SO I guess I just need to figure out if I want to blog each day for myself just to keep it going regularly, or skip a day or two when I don't feel it until I really have something to say or rant about. decisions decisions decisions...

I would also love to figure out how to review books... As many as I devour in a month I would love to share my thoughts on those! I had plan to add a page of book reviews too, but I need to figure out how that works. Baby steps.
I am currently re-reading The Immortals After Dark Series... If you like Steamy para-romance... give them a try. They get better with every book and the characters are FUN!

Well... That is about it. Have a great week!


Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Balance... Is this the elusive pot of gold?

I find myself in a constant pursuit of this elusive thing called 'balance'. I seek balance between family & friends. Balance between Husband & Children. Balance between my personal pursuits & my family. Balance between my work pursuits and my passionate pursuits. Balance between food, exercise, and enjoying life. (I must be honest... I am NOT a lover of exercise nor will I ever be... I will only do it because the alternative is that I either die an early death due to obese related medical issues, or I limit my portions and what I allow to touch my tongue... Neither of which is an option for me... so... Exercise I must.)

I know I cannot be alone on this, and I know my friends share the same frustrations. Some of us have even gone as far as making a schedule. But honestly, for whatever reason, this time my schedule seems to be elusive as well. It is packed so full it does not allow for detours from the plan. Because of this, sickness, or surprise activities tend to throw the whole thing into a spiraling vortex of doom that takes a miracle to rebound from in order to get back on track.

Does anyone ever truly find this thing called balance? Or maybe my perspective of what balance is needs to shift... hmmmm... there's a thought.
What if my expectations of what I think balance should "look" like is so out of whack that my schedule could never truly hold up to this unrealistic idea. I would honestly LOVE to hear your thoughts on this...

I have pondered these things a lot... and honestly I think although I will continue to try to use my schedule... I think I will have to just give in to the fact that life is ever changing and we cannot plan for everything... (This concept scares a control freak such as myself... but I am working on those issues too)

I am resolved to give myself a break instead of judging my daily success by what I did NOT achieve from my daily list of tasks.

I hope we can all find joy in the chaos and peace in the journey of our lives... I think maybe that will be my new goal... and within that I may just see the truth of what balance truly is.

Namaste" & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

The voices in my head are fighting...

Have you ever read or heard something that when you 1st read it you're outraged by the shear idiocy of it... only to immediately turn it into an internal argument in your own mind for each side... I have exhausted myself this morning on something as benign as a tweet from someone I follow. Thank you @_BTE for giving the voices in my head something to chew on and spit out! :)








So here is how it went down... "In my head"
I was reading through Tweets as usual while enjoying my morning cup-o-bliss. Today I kicked it up a notch by adding a dash of cinnamon to my Grizz... Oh the true joy of it!! My tongue was doing the full on 'Happy Dance' and I was truly having a moment of bliss...
***Warning... when it comes to the subject of coffee... "The force is strong in that one" So I may get easily derailed, but worry not... Most of my conversations start on one track, jump 4 or 5, but eventually I get to the train station in the end... just ask my poor frustrated Hubby... he has learned to wait it out...

OK, back to the TWEET; it went as follows- "_BTE: The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence. -Thomas Huxley #quote"

I read this and immediately I went from that wonderful state of coffee bliss to a very annoyed state, thinking, "what a ridiculous thing to believe!". WHAT ABOUT FAITH, what about all those things we FEEL but cannot explain... that INTUITION or 'ping' you get when you "just Know" something... What if Mr. Columbus had just believed the earth was flat because that was all we could SEE or had proof of!?!?!?!
This bothered me to my core... So much so I actually considered un-following this person so I wouldn't have another day ruined by such idiocy. (Note to self... when having SUCH an intense response to something, it is always good to look a little deeper... & yes, I happily & gratefully still follow @_BTE...)
So... Here is where "Crazy Land" kicks in.
Next thing I know there is this OTHER voice in my head saying, "WAIT A MINUTE HERE! Who are YOU to be upset at that statement? Isn't it YOU who always needs PROOF of anything before you believe it is true... I mean REALLY BELIEVE...? Isn't it YOU who while on your spiritual path have at one time or another because of lack of "tangible proof", denied the very existence of Magic, Intuition, Afterlife, God, Ghosts, anything Paranormal, Fairies, and don't EVEN get me started on astral projection, remote viewing or aliens!

So herein lies the dilemma... I have denied all of those things and more throughout my path... I have since learned to trust my intuition or whatever that "thing" is that speaks from inside my heart to my head... I do also believe there are things we don’t yet have the ability to understand... BUT STILL... I for SOME THINGS I require PROOF! Oxymoron or just moron??? What is wrong with me? I can't have it both ways can I? Why can I not just go on faith... or trust that if I have that "intuitive feeling" about something EVEN WITHOUT PROOF that it is OK to believe. It does not require proof, or the belief of anyone else... I mean this is MY path & MY truth so why can't I just be at peace with it.

The answer is.... CONTROL....

Yes, I am a control FREAK... And it scares the shit out of me to actually release that control and go on faith. What am I afraid of? Being wrong? Looking stupid? Being a poor example or worse yet a hypocrite to my children? Being locked up in a round padded room wearing a white fitted coat with fancy straps that hug me tightly?

The answer eludes me still... But what I DO BELIEVE is that THIS is why I am ON a Spiritual PATH, & not at the END of my Spiritual Path... It truly IS THE JOURNEY... And though it may sound sappy... I will continue to search, learn, and be open to the possibilities of whatever I encounter. At the end, I hope to achieve whatever it is my Soul came here to do.

So to the voices in my head... Keep on questioning and searching... and to the voices in my heart.... Thank you for being my compass so that I do not stray away from the path to which I was meant to walk...

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Car crash & broken diapers.... oh my! Can I go back to bed now.. PLEASE!?

OK, So I would like to start off by saying... I don't intend for this blog to be all about my toddlers poop/diapers... however.... it just so happens to be the theme of the week for me...

Started my day slow after a sleepless night with a fussy toddler. After dropping my 7 yr old "TJ" off to school, my 20mnth old "MJ" & I were heading home so Mommy could get her coffee fix going... 50 yards ahead of my car, a pickup decided to flip off the road into a grove of pine trees. After I called 911... check to be sure the guy was ok... (Checked to see that "I" was OK... Can you say adrenaline rush?!?!?) I decided to stay until the Police showed to be sure he was really ok. MJ sat in the back seat with all the patience a toddler has... NONE... We finally were on the road again after 20 minutes...

Can you believe he flipped it, landed on tires... parked "GENTLY" in forest & walked away...

At home we settled in and I enjoyed my amazing coffee... (see my Jan 17th post on coffee if you want some amazingly tasteful orgasmic java... some day I will learn how to insert a quick link...)

an hour later... I begin to find these strange squishy gelatin like beads all over my house.. chairs... and yes... my child...
It seems that his diaper had a tear in the covering on his butt area... so as he played... peed, played some more... these began to swell and push through & out the hole... then followed like little ant soldiers down his pant leg and out the opening as he walked EVERYWHERE... (OK... some may be asking... what kind of Mother are you?!?! you didn't notice? NOPE! I was in BLOGGER HELL... trying to figure out how to post a link! So I may have been slightly distracted... SLIGHTLY... But after 7 attempts... I did get the Blog Hop to post in my blog correctly... >>>Happy Dance<<< Yay me!) Not to worry though...He is now bathed, fed, changed, and sleeping soundly in bed with his wubby & Totoro plushy... So please no hater comments... human here posing as super mom... not the other way around. As you can see... it was not a good thing... this is just what I got out of his pants... the rest was all over my home... Mental note... Potty Train FASTER! ;)

So all you folks in Bloggersville have a fabulous day!

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

We have a blogger down... I repeat.. we have a blogger down... BLOG HOP ANYONE?!?!

OK... As a very new blogger... started 4 days ago... I am learning as I go... today, I read the how to's & tried to figure out the wonderful world of blogging...  I now feel my head begin to swim... Then spin circles on my shoulders... I swear pea soup is about to spew next...   SO... I will heed the advice given by a fellow blogger... (CRAP... should have remembered WHO they were so I could link back to them... SORRY... BEGINNER FOPAH...)  anyway... I will just write.... I will be me... (I hear John Cusack in my head right now "This is me breathing... I am at home with the me"  *see Gross Point Blank for the full monte.)
Anyway....
I did find a fun way to follow funny peeps and possible network a bit with my fellow boggers... it is something called a "Blog Hop"... I HOPE I did it right... (I do tend to be the "learn from my mistakes" kinda girl... )
here is how it works...


RULES:
To be in this hop just follow all three hosts.(We always follow back, leave a comment)

Follow the person before you.

Have fun. Add the linky and or button to your page to get more followers!




THANK YOU    Snack Bar Reviews, 3 Princes and a Princess 2, Luvin My Lil Monkeys. !!!     I love this idea!


Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

oh Poop!

So...  let's get the "poop" story out of the way...
It all begins with the wonderful journey that is " potty-training"...
My youngest is 20 months and has decided he wants to pee in his little potty. (Thank goodness, I was beginning to think it was just a decoration on my bathroom floor..)  Anyway...  Because I am the only girl in the house, he will usually go in with Daddy or big Brother to watch them pee. Keep in mind he never sees them sit to pee, so why would he?  Logical kid.   So one night & walked up to Daddy and said pee pee & pointed to the bathroom... We were so excited & Daddy helped him go and because he wont sit and he doesn't quite get the concept of "leaning forward" or "pushing your midsection forward" in order to "make the shot" he needs help nudging him forward a bit otherwise my floor becomes the toilet.  His 1st attempt with help was a success!  We all did the Happy Pee Pee Dance & make a HUGE deal out of it... he was beaming!

I make the comment to Daddy that I am very excited that he is using the potty but nervous that he wont sit because, well, what happens when he needs to poop?  We laugh & go on with out day, but in the back of my mind I still worry about having to "play catch" one day when he pushes & it comes out the wrong end...

Two days later he is in the highchair eating breakfast and it's just us two.  He asks to go potty, and I get all excited because this is a sign... he is asking and he is really ready..... I was nervous because this is my first time helping him, so we rush into the bathroom I get his pants down & pull his diaper off... And as I rest my hand on his butt to help him push his midsection forward to "make the shot", I fell this warm squishy sensation ooze through my fingers... Oh yes... you guessed it... EEEEWWW    There are some things that even a mother gets grossed out by...  (And yes, I SHOULD have been able to smell it prior to removing the diaper, or even after that you would THINK I would have seen the poop smeared mess in his diaper... But alas... Between my excitement to finally be working toward no more diapers & my lack of coffee/awareness...  Guessed I missed the signs...)

I asked myself... Is this what I get for attempting any job that requires attention to details PRIOR to my 1st cup of coffee, or is there more at work here than the eye can see... Do I sense a disturbance in the Force? Have I crossed into an alternate universe?  Or has all that practice trying to use "THE DAMN SECRET" or Law of attraction, finally paid off in the most inopportune time?!?!?!
So ya... Of all the lame attempts I have tried to attract things into my life and use "The Secret" or Law of Attraction without any result what-so-ever...  I finally get it to work... And what do I attract?!?!?!  POOP!   Really?!?!   At least someone up there has a sense of humor...   Good thing I do too.  ;)

So now I am off to enjoy my morning coffee and hang with my Little Man...  We start the "My Baby Can Read" series this week...  cannot wait to see if it works as well as they say it does.

Have a great day!  Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Coffee... My path to the java enlightenment...

Today let's talk about one of my admitted guilty pleasures... (Yes there are some I don't openly admit to... yet... but that may be another blog... For now we can start off with those things I am willing to admit to... :)  )

My path to "Coffee Enlightenment" is no where at it's end... there is always room for improvement... however currently I have found bliss in "The Grizz"... (say it with me people... THE GRIZZ)

Before I get to what "The Grizz" is, lets go back to the beginning...

I first started out like everyone else I know... sneaking drinks from Grandpa or Auntie as a kid... I don't think I even really liked it then, I did like feeling like an adult, but Granny's coffee was... well... God rest your soul Granny, but it was NASTY!  The percolator style that allowed the spoon to stand up in the cup... ya it was that bad...
As a young adult I moved to brewed coffee and used it mainly for hangovers, and energy... NOT BLISS.
Then I met my sweet husband who tends to really put 100% into everything he does... (Including coffee) So we embarked down the road of getting our own Starbicks Barista machine & grinder... from there it was Starbucks brand only for us... seriously I think Starbucks may actually be considered a religion just because of the sheer number of "followers"...
I overheard my dear Hubby explaining how you don't want to burn the beans, and grind size this, and tamping that... and quite honestly I didn't care as long as he made me a cup...   But alas... I had no choice but to learn this craziness due to the fact that I could no longer stomach the swill coming from my own BREW machine when he wasn't home... I HAD TO BECOME A BARISTA OR DIE TRYING!  Serioulsy.. that's not being dramatic at all...
I learned to grind, tamp & get the perfect "GOD SHOT"  and damn was I getting good.  Now this is the only way I make my coffee... (Hubby has moved onto french press, however, I remain faithful to my Barista machine.)      <3 U  

So why this tangent???  Well, as I said, we WERE of the "Starbucks religion"... and yes we still partake of the Starbucks when we are out and about... but at home I have a new found love....   "THE GRIZZ"
What is The Grizz you ask???  Well... There is a man who has a small shop called Big Mountain Coffeee in Depot Bay, OR... he roasts his own beans into many blends and creations... but NONE have sent me into a blissful high like my coveted GRIZZ...  We special order it to be delivered when we can't make the drive to Depot Bay to grab it personally... And YES.. it IS that good!  This wonderful human being has managed to roast these beans to a perfection that actually pushes the coffee flavor through any additions you may put in the cup... sugar, creamer mocha, whatever... you still get this creamy flavorful coffee flavor that is SO RIGHT...

So today when I decided I needed a "treat" this afternoon at 2pm... I over-looked the cookie dough, the chocolate covered pomagranites & went straight to my Barista for a second magnificent cup of Grizz.

Here's to you Big Mountain Coffee <http://www.bigmountaincoffees.com/> !!! And to many years to come of success so that I may have a piece of bliss in my life each morning... AMEN!

1st Blog EVER

Well, it seems I should say something witty or momentous as this is the 1st blog I have ever done... As I ponder what to write and go through my last week of events,  I have trouble choosing between the "I stuck my hand in my toddlers poop"  or a rant about my favorite artist friend who did a series of yoga pose paintings and was considered "too racy" by a hair salon....  really?   yoga poses? I swear I though Portland was a bit more diverse and open minded than this... Check them out & you tell me... ( www.rickieleeart.com )  Or I could get into the "interesting" conversations my friends and I have about aliens, mind control, 2012, spirituality, etc... Or hey... I could talk about my personal obsessions with my electronics, (Droid-Pro, Kindle, and the world that is Google... talk, voice, iGoogle, Google chrome, buzz... etc... still learning but having a blast... )   I am sure these will all be discussed in detail in the future...


But no, let's start off right... introductions are in order...
I am a Mother of 2 cool boys (ages 7yrs & 21 months), the wife of an amazingly wonderful man who tolerates my insanity on a daily basis & in some cases actually seems to enjoy it.  We all occasionally get on each others nerves and through it all we have a family motto, "We love each other NO MATTER WHAT"...  Good motto to have when you are the only female (besides the dogs) in a household of testosterone.  I am a bit of a Hippie at heart and my Husband is... well.. not.  He tends to be the one holding me to the ground when my head is in the clouds, so we make a good pair.

Admittedly being a Mom has been harder than I thought it would  be... But no where near the struggle of BECOMING a Mom.  (Infertility issues... years of trying, then through adoption we were able to finally build our family.) 
I have aspirations to be published some day, and although I would love to write children's books & spiritual books, my main passion is writing para-romance... ya... I know... but that is a guilty pleasure I refuse to apologize for!  (I call the books I read my Mommy porn... LOL )

I have lived in the Pacific Northwest for about 12 years now & I love it!!  (Even with the rain... I will take that over snow any day!)

Well, I hope to make this blog fun to read, and find others who go through the same crap, I mean insanity, I mean "lessons" so that maybe we can even help each other find our way through it with some humor, real conversations, and maybe a few moments of a crazy "Mommy Tirade"...  Thanks for reading...

Namaste'... PEACE OUT!  ;-P