Have you ever read or heard something that when you 1st read it you're outraged by the shear idiocy of it... only to immediately turn it into an internal argument in your own mind for each side... I have exhausted myself this morning on something as benign as a tweet from someone I follow. Thank you @_BTE for giving the voices in my head something to chew on and spit out! :)
So here is how it went down... "In my head"
I was reading through Tweets as usual while enjoying my morning cup-o-bliss. Today I kicked it up a notch by adding a dash of cinnamon to my Grizz... Oh the true joy of it!! My tongue was doing the full on 'Happy Dance' and I was truly having a moment of bliss...
***Warning... when it comes to the subject of coffee... "The force is strong in that one" So I may get easily derailed, but worry not... Most of my conversations start on one track, jump 4 or 5, but eventually I get to the train station in the end... just ask my poor frustrated Hubby... he has learned to wait it out...
OK, back to the TWEET; it went as follows- "_BTE: The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence. -Thomas Huxley #quote"
I read this and immediately I went from that wonderful state of coffee bliss to a very annoyed state, thinking, "what a ridiculous thing to believe!". WHAT ABOUT FAITH, what about all those things we FEEL but cannot explain... that INTUITION or 'ping' you get when you "just Know" something... What if Mr. Columbus had just believed the earth was flat because that was all we could SEE or had proof of!?!?!?!
This bothered me to my core... So much so I actually considered un-following this person so I wouldn't have another day ruined by such idiocy. (Note to self... when having SUCH an intense response to something, it is always good to look a little deeper... & yes, I happily & gratefully still follow @_BTE...)
So... Here is where "Crazy Land" kicks in.
Next thing I know there is this OTHER voice in my head saying, "WAIT A MINUTE HERE! Who are YOU to be upset at that statement? Isn't it YOU who always needs PROOF of anything before you believe it is true... I mean REALLY BELIEVE...? Isn't it YOU who while on your spiritual path have at one time or another because of lack of "tangible proof", denied the very existence of Magic, Intuition, Afterlife, God, Ghosts, anything Paranormal, Fairies, and don't EVEN get me started on astral projection, remote viewing or aliens!
So herein lies the dilemma... I have denied all of those things and more throughout my path... I have since learned to trust my intuition or whatever that "thing" is that speaks from inside my heart to my head... I do also believe there are things we don’t yet have the ability to understand... BUT STILL... I for SOME THINGS I require PROOF! Oxymoron or just moron??? What is wrong with me? I can't have it both ways can I? Why can I not just go on faith... or trust that if I have that "intuitive feeling" about something EVEN WITHOUT PROOF that it is OK to believe. It does not require proof, or the belief of anyone else... I mean this is MY path & MY truth so why can't I just be at peace with it.
The answer is.... CONTROL....
Yes, I am a control FREAK... And it scares the shit out of me to actually release that control and go on faith. What am I afraid of? Being wrong? Looking stupid? Being a poor example or worse yet a hypocrite to my children? Being locked up in a round padded room wearing a white fitted coat with fancy straps that hug me tightly?
The answer eludes me still... But what I DO BELIEVE is that THIS is why I am ON a Spiritual PATH, & not at the END of my Spiritual Path... It truly IS THE JOURNEY... And though it may sound sappy... I will continue to search, learn, and be open to the possibilities of whatever I encounter. At the end, I hope to achieve whatever it is my Soul came here to do.
So to the voices in my head... Keep on questioning and searching... and to the voices in my heart.... Thank you for being my compass so that I do not stray away from the path to which I was meant to walk...
Namaste' & PEACE OUT!
Franki Lynn
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