Crazy Birds... WTF... Are the birds all suicidal?

OK, I have a question... Have you noticed these freaky ass kamikaze birds? Last week on the very same day I managed to hit a bird who flew in front of my car while taking my Son to school, then that afternoon on the way to pick him up, a freak occurrence had another flying INTO MY CAR! Yes INSIDE... I was doing 55MPH and had my passenger window down about 4". This crazy ass bird flew through the opening, HIT ME IN THE HEAD, & fell behind me into my chair! Do you understand the odds of a bird flying through a 4" opening of a passenger window of a car doing 55MPH?!?! REALLY???  And I was quite proud of myself for the way I handled it with my 2 year old in the car...  No, I didn't scream, or swear like a truck driver... Probably because I am a little nuts and was just pissed that I killed or maimed yet another living thing that day... So instead, I said very loudly at whoever up there has the sick ass sense of humor, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!"  I then found a place to pull over on the side of the road... all the while knowing there is this bird wedged between my seat & my ass... Praying like hell there was no blood & that it was dead because what the hell would I do with a maimed animal?!?!   Thank the powers that be, it was dead, blood free, and actually looked as if it fell asleep sun bathing... no shit... (see photos below.)

Later that day my LP, who had never hit an animal before, called to tell me she hit a bird too!!!    WTF???

And still, even as I type this, these little suckers are playing "Beat the car" or "dive bomb the car" on a daily basis and just this morning had I not slowed quickly, I am quite sure there would be more victims to speak of!!! 
As you can see I took a photo with my cell, because it was just too freaky!! Not to mention when I told the story people would think I had lost my mind had I not provided proof!!!

This shows how far down the window was... Impressive @ 55MPH..

Here is poor "tweety"...  And yes, this is exactly how he ended up...
I was only willing to touch him once to place him gently on the road side.... 
"RIP Tweety"

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

21 day cleanse... get ready for the Bitch + couponing update

Ya so, because I don't feel as if I am going though enough emotional stuff... Why not throw a food cleanse in the mix.  My LP & I have decided to try this 21 day vegan body cleanse by Kathy Freston. She was on Oprah a while back...

Why not... right?  Why not remove the things I use most for emotional comfort and fulfillment... Why not?    Here's how I am choosing to view this...  I am already emotionally screwed up, and bitchy...  so this will be the perfect time to do it and just get it all over with at the same time.  Maybe it will force me to look at the feelings instead of stuffing them with food! hmmmm ... there's an idea!   Also we will be adding treadmill time to our new and improved life plan, and a goal of running in a race this summer.   Again, why not?   She & I plan to blog about it on a joint blog, so I will be setting up another account for that, but will also include it here for your entertainment.  I am sure the first week will be full of peaceful loving thoughts as I give up all coffee, caffeine, meat, sugar, gluten, and basically most every food I love.   Doesn't it sound like fun?   How do I let her talk me into this shit?  She makes it sound like the best adventure EVER!!!  And then ends it with... "It's only 21 days of our however many years of life we live... lets do something good with it! "   So ya... I caved.
It is Wednesday.... 1 day before the cleanse... all I have done for 48 hours is think of all the things I cannot have and freak out that I will have nothing filling to eat the next 21 days.  As of this morning I was in full panic mode as I realized TODAY IS MY LAST CUP OF COFFEE!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!  OK, now it is a little too real!  I have avoided reading the book because I guess I figured if I read it, that would mean I was going to do it and it would become reality.  Well... unless I want to starve I guess it is time to crack the pages, (Well the kindle that is... no pages needed..)  I have a hubby who is cheering me on and who is even willing to take this crazy train with us.  I guess I had better start meal planning so I can hit the grocery store tonight.  Either that or live on brown rice and oatmeal.... 

As for the coupon thing... I have been trying it a little at a time and had my most successful trip last week.  I saved almost 50% on that trip.  It felt pretty darn good!  I am thinking about biting the bullet and getting the Sunday papers, as well as the Tuesday paper for the coupons and making this into a weekly thing.  I am just scratching the surface of how it all works, and I have YET to figure out how to get a FREE item... but I have hope!  Wish me luck.



Oh ya & I died my hair black cherry... it is purple... yup... purple... weird thing is.  I like it.  :)

That is all for now. I am making up for all the guilt I feel for the long ass break I took from my blog.  I started it for me, but I feel an obligation to those who find there way here & actually like it or find something in it that helps them.




Have a great week!




Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

2 nuts shy of Crazy...

Nothing like waiting a full month to write again, huh?  Well to be honest with you... and myself, I didn't have much to say.  I was drowning in my own self pity and self hatred and just feeling like a useless slug.   Who am I to write about the shit in my head that has more to do with "my reality" and less to do with REALITY.   I was and to a point still am in a bit of a slump.  I have had a couple of bright moments, but the darkness has overtaken the light on a regular basis.     I want to understand where it all is coming from.  I know what sparked it all to begin, but it was always there.  I had it tucked away in a nice little compartment in an old rusty trunk with a HUGE sign marked, "DO NOT OPEN!!! EVER!!!"    Then I had a falling out with my Mom.  I felt all those abandonment issues bubble up into my chest and began once again to believe the lies.  (My lies are those voices that say, "Your Mom never wanted you.  She hates you. You aren't worthy of anybodies love.  You don't deserve happiness or joy.  You are a bad person and should be punished. You never do enough! You will NEVER be enough!!! EVER!!!"  etc... etc... etc...)   The list of voices from my shadow is endless.     You see, my Mom had me only to save a failing marriage which failed anyway and at 3 months old it was done.  She cried when she saw me after I was born and told them she didn't want me because I was a red head freckled baby. She then went into a deep depression and hardly picked me up or took care of me for months.   The stories I have heard are that my Aunts would come by daily and check on me, change the diaper I had been in all day, refill the sour or empty bottle from my crib, and repeat the next day.   Back then nobody understood Post-Partum and they all did the best they could.   Funny thing about all of that is I never used it as an excuse to not be strong or be happy.  I lived my life anyway and took pride in my life.   I tucked it away as a "story I once heard" and locked it up tight.  Somewhere deep down I guess it hurt, but I am great at compartmentalizing so it just became a compartment I stayed out of.    .......................until our fight last month.   :(    Without getting into the details of it all, lets just say she and I are very much alike in some ways, (stubborn, fiery Aries, we speak our minds and sometimes from a place of emotion instead of intellect. and we self sabotage although for different reasons.)  but, in other ways we are miles apart...  
By the end of our conversation, she had said that I was no longer welcome in her life and not to bother coming to her funeral either... (I left out the "colorful words")     At some level I know it was her pain talking, but it still cut right through my heart.  I felt that "Not being wanted or good enough" feeling creep out of that compartment and blow the whole thing all to hell.  I yelled at her and told her she was being unfair and unrealistic.  I told her that I had to put my kids first and that she needed to stop having double standards when it came to her kids.   (You see, I live almost 5 hours from her, but I call her weekly to check in and make sure things are OK.  I send her things when I can and I visit as much as I can afford a hotel because she has "strangers" staying in her home making it  "unavailable" for my kids to safely stay over night.  And yet, our conversation was about how once again... I AM NOT DOING ENOUGH.  I don't visit enough... the phone calls don't mean shit because I am not right there in front of her so I must not care.   But the one child she has who completely disrespects her very existence, is the one who lives there and is the reason for so much of her stress and troubles, and yet... he is always and forever the "victim who needs saving".   I am just the bitch daughter who doesn't care about her.  Although, now that my Sister has moved away and lives closer to me, she has also joined the ranks of "Bitch Daughter who doesn't give a shit."  Welcome to the club Sissy.)

OK, I got off track a bit on that rant... sorry.     My point is... what is my point?  Well, I guess it is trying to work out WHY I allowed those feeling to come back into my life and my body.   I KNOW in my head she loves me. But my heart cannot keep up with it all and the FEELING isn't LOVE that I get from her.  The FEELING she gives me is JUDGMENT, DISAPPOINTMENT, REJECTION, SADNESS, and HURT.  

So my head and heart have been just a little fucked up these past few weeks, and I haven't been much good to anyone.    As I am typing this, I have had a realization that a friend of mine whom is going through a lot right now has also brought up those same feelings in me...  I realize that every time I speak to her I feel as if I am not doing enough, being enough and the unspoken judgment and disappointment is tangible.   Honestly though... I TRULY am doing the best I can with what I have.  I don't have more... I am hole... empty... unfilled and she needs more from me than I have available to give emotionally or financially...   So once again I have those FEELINGS come up...    I spoke to my husband about it all and yes, I know I need to find someone to "Work this out with".  But I have also tried "Talk therapy" and it does NOT work for me.  So I am hunting for the right place to try to heal my heart & soul.  I want to be happy again. Have joy.  Be inspired...   I am tired of faking my happiness around my family, kids, and friends.  For now I will fake it till I make it, but that is a band-aid at best... I am shutting myself off from anyone who makes me feel worse about myself... I haven't phoned my Mom although I did for Mothers Day.  (It was such an uncomfortable forced conversation.  Like she was forcing herself to even talk to me or be nice... IT HURT.)  I haven't called her since, although I worry about her multiple times a day, but I keep my distance as a protective measure to keep myself from spiraling back into that darkness place. I am numb and staying that way.  I cannot afford to allow myself to go there right now.  I have to be a Mom, Wife, Sister, Friend...  and I am having a hard enough time at that...
I have a few ideas lined up for alternative therapies, and here's hoping one of them works out!  Something has to give here... I am hanging by a thread.......

Namaste' & PEACE OUT

Franki Lynn

The Good, The Bad & The CONFUSING (Guns, Idiots, & Coupons)

We have had illness running AMOK in our home, so I apologize for the hiatus from the blog... 

The Good:
I am currently taking a 6 week Ladies Handgun Safety class with my LP. We just finished week 2 and we finally started to actually shoot.  It was so damn fun and for the first time EVER, I wasn't afraid of the guns.  I think it was because I had a real understanding of every part of it.  They spent the 1st week & part of the 2nd week breaking it all down into basic pieces and rules to be safe.  I can actually take one apart and put it together.  I am not ignorant about guns.  We have been target shooting and had guns for years.  But there was always this uneasiness about them & once we had kids, I became a freak about it.  Didn't even want them out around the children.  (And YES, we have gun safes and keep everything separate etc... we are very responsible about it. And yet... I still had issues.)    I think this fear comes from ignorance for me & others who have irrational fears about having guns in your home.   I believe now even after just a small bit of education, I feel safer and more prepared to keep those I love safe if ever the situation arises.     

As for the actual shooting part.  I found out that I feel very comfortable shooting, and I am not too bad!   It was empowering and felt good to do well at something I was so nervous about.   I started with a semi-auto 22, and next week I will try the revolvers.  (I have always shot semi-autos, so the revolver will be interesting.)   This has been a very good lesson and I am having a blast!  I will be sad when the 6 weeks is over... But I am sure I will continue to shoot and learn about it.  I am way to damn good to let this talent go to waist!  LMAO    Kidding... but I am having a blast!

The Bad:
Where to start...  Well, I have had a few stressful situations the past few weeks and the one that affected me the most was a surprise.  We had company over spring break & a family member/niece brought a boyfriend with her whom I had never met.  He came into our home and he tinkered with personal items, yelled at our dogs, push them around, and treated most everyone with little to no respect. Needless to say, By day 2 of the 4 days I was at my end and basically insisted he BE NICE, or get the fuck out of my home... (In so many words.)   It was very hard to see my niece being treated like an object and most of the time he was tearing her down.   I had boyfriends like him when I was younger and I had little self respect & figured that was all I deserved.   I pray she is smarter than I was and can see early on that she is amazing and deserves to have someone who builds her up and wants to be a part of her life and a partner, not someone who want to own her like a toy to show off, then tuck away from everyone.   Makes me sad for her.  Thank god when it came time for me to settle and get married I got it right.  I have the best partner a girl could ask for.

The Confusing:
So I am sure some of you may have seen those Extreme Coupon people on TLC... Well, I myself am one of the people who are just dumbfounded by the world of coupons and all the rules and lingo.  I would LOVE to learn, but it seems the more I read the more confusing it gets!  Seriously, is there a college coarse I can take??? Is there a degree I can get?! Are those people genetically engineered to understand it?
I would LOVE to save even half of my grocery costs for our family, so I am determined to keep plugging along through all the information and start to make what I like to call "TRIAL RUNS" to the store.  I plan to blog about my success and my failures/"learning opportunities" and welcome feedback from those of you who have been blessed with the coupon gene. 


Sorry for the leave of absents in Crazy Land, HOWEVER!!!!  On the up side, I am dealing with major drama in my life/family AND will be attending a large Beltane camp out in 2 weeks with all my crazy Pagan Hippie friends, so I should have PLENTY to blog about over the next 2-4 weeks...

Here's hoping for sunshine the rest of the month! 

Namaste" & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

The Good The Bad & The ANNOYING! oh boy...

The GOOD:

Wow, I need some practice here... I need to start doing my daily gratitude journal again... Finding something good to write about shouldn't be this hard!    OK... Now that I have my head on straight....   THE GOOD:  I am happy to report that I have one of those Men in my life that actually think of me and even in the insanity of life and the world, he manages to make me feel loved and special.
Exhibit A- I came to bed the other night to find a box under my covers.  When I asked what it was and why it was in my bed, he simply replied, "It's a 'just because' gift... I know I haven't been here much and you have not been given the time with me you deserve and so I wanted you to know I was sorry and I am thinking about you."    So I open it and I got a bit giddy...  Yes, I said GIDDY... You see, this is something I have wanted for a little while, and my BFF LP had just got one, and I fell in L.O.V.E. with hers and just HAD to get my own! It would be perfect because we can trade shells when we get bored with them!  I looked inside the box to find a Miche Bag of my very own! Oh, & not just ANY Miche Bag, but the giraffe print with red trim! SO FREAKIN CUTE!  If you don't know what they are you are missing out.  They are purses with interchangeable shells!  You just lift the inner shell out and put it into the one you want.  No more unpacking to change purses for me!  Now the hardest part of my future purse shopping is choosing what shells I want next...  ;)   

This one is at the top of my wish list... It is "The Drew"  Isn't it SO PRETTY?    Ya... Still giddy...  :)

The BAD:

In the aftermath of THE DEED, I sat & wondered what in the HELL prompted me to walk into my bathroom & start chopping off all my beautiful long hair... OH YES I DID... And NO... I am NOT a hair dresser nor have I had any training what-so-ever.   I made a mess of it, then refused to go get it fixed. And over the next 4 days as I tried to "fix" it more & more it just got shorter & shorter... I finally had to just STOP!  Bald wasn't my thing & I was heading there fast. Now for the why of it??? Well, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out... I thought about it & I have decided that I did it because I was punishing myself.  For what you ask?  KILLING MY CAT!  I know that if I didn't love my Fido-Kitten so much that this hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be wouldn't exist.  And it really isn't the grief of LOSING him that is tearing me apart, although I miss the hell out of him, it is the fact that I killed him!  Call it what you want... putting them to sleep, "helping them transition", ya well... BULLSHIT... I killed him!  I told the Dr. it was OK to inject him with meds that would stop his heart & kill him, PERIOD.  And yes, I understand he would have had a rough & painful time if we hadn't done it, and yes he was already having trouble eating... but my head isn't in charge right now... my heart & my pain are...  So that afternoon after watching the life leave his body, I came home... and started to cut...  I guess for now we are still in the 'anger' stage... So my hair will remain as it is. 

The ANNOYING:

I am a self admitted control freak, so is it any wonder there are times when I am being intimate with my sweet Hubby that I totally FREAK OUT ON HIM?   Well... I guess not.
I read these very steamy books about these intense men who literally are so into their woman that the intensity of it reaches out of the pages and a wave of heat and pleasure rock your body to the core.  They practically breath their woman into them... it's very intense, and very carnal.  I LOVE READING IT!!!
So why oh why then, when my man climbs into bed, looks deep into my Soul, and has that same intensity about him, do I literally feel as if I cannot breath and that he is about to suffocate the life from me?  Why do I get freaked out and actually find myself almost gasping for air as if I have a pillow over my face? Is it really a control thing or is it something else?  


................  OH... Are you waiting for MY enlightened response?  MY answer? Well..  Hell if I know! That is why I am posting this to YOU!!!  Help????  Anyone?   Anyone?
So I leave it out there in the ether of the web... maybe someone will have the answer... or not.


I hope this finds everyone safe, grounded and surrounded by loved ones.
It is a very unsettling time for so many...  PLEASE... take a moment to send some love to Japan... The people and the Planet could sure use it.


Namaste' & PEACE OUT!


Franki Lynn

Friends... Thank God & Goddess for blessing me with my Life-Partner!

Have you ever watched those chick movies where the women have these friends who would basically do ANYTHING for each other including break them out of jail or help them bury a body in the dessert... And no matter what they did, even if they didn't agree with it, they stood by each other and there was always that unconditional love and respect???  (Examples are movies like Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Moonlight and Valentino,  Practical Magic, Witches of Eastwick, Thelma & Liouse, etc... You get the friendship level I am talking about???)
Did you ever envy them of the relationship they had? Those bonds that are so unbreakable that in the end, they are better people for having each other around?   Well, I happen to be VERY blessed to have a couple of those kind of people in my life, and I know just how rare that is and how blessed I am to have them.  They have become "Sisters" to me and Aunties to my children.  They are every bit a part of my family in every way that matters.  (We don't see blood relation the way most families do as our children are adopted and blood bond or not, they are a part of every cell in our bodies... Family isn't about blood... it's about love and heart... connection and trust. You know... All those things that REALLY matter...)
So, because these "Sisters" are such a huge part of my life, they do not get a 'pass' when it comes to my blog...   :)    They have a hand in who I am as a person... and let's be honest... they are just as "bat-shit-crazy" as I am NOT to include their stories in my blog...   Sorry ladies, but you know I am right.

My blog victim today is my Life-Partner, (LP for short), Rickie Lee.  She & I met at a "MEETING" while wandering down our spiritual path to enlightenment. (And YES... we are still wandering... )
So, when I say "meeting"... hmmm... how to put this.... OH ya, that's right.. being "real" now.
Translation?  We met at a coven meeting.  Yes I said COVEN... witches... magic... blah blah blah...  OK, so do you feel that JUDGMENT that MAY have just come into your head about who or what I am??? Well, it was for that very reason that I used to tell people we met at a "Book Club", because, HEY when we were at the coven, we looked at books! Besides, it used to be easier than dealing with the issues other people attached to to word Coven, Witch, Shaman, etc.  BUT... The more I denied that side of me I began to feel like a hypocrite... (hmmmm, there is that word again.)  I was afraid to talk about  the many places I have been on this path to find myself & my truth... BUT, as you well know from my previous blog... I AM NOT HOLDING BACK ANY LONGER.  This is me! My journey... and if I had not gone out searching for my truth in that place, I never would have met these women I call "Sisters".  Yes, it was a lot of drama & Woo-woo crap... But some of the things I learned while in that environment were irreplaceable lessons that I could NOT have learned anywhere else.  AND I found kindred spirits to help trudge through the bullshit.  In the end the 3 of us walked away from it STONGER, WISER, and FOREVER BONDED.  I would do it ALL over again in a heart beat!  (OK, I jumped track a bit, so back to RICKIE LEE!!!.. Later blog to follow on some of the crazy ass shit we did while in the "coven"...  promise)

When I met Rickie I was in awe of how she was so young, beautiful & such a free spirit! She didn't hold back and she always had a skip in her step.  She, I & our other Sistah Michelle, really bonded quickly.  It was like we had know each other for lifetimes.   We discussed everything and anything and our friendships became this anchor for me.  I found myself more grounded and able to deal with things that normally would have sent me spinning.  Rickie LOVED to challenge my "issues"...  You see, after we left the coven, I was slowly becoming borderline agoraphobic & OCD.  When I was out of my element I would literally have a panic attack, and I always planned for everything in advance in order to control the environment when I would have to leave my house.  I preferred staying home, however, she forced me out of my house and into the world. She knew it was hard for me, but anytime I begin to slip back into my old ways, she is right there to call me out.  Michelle is like me too.  We call it "Going into our cave", and although we allow the other to go there... there is a time frame, and once it's decided that it's been long enough, you better expect a knock on your door with ice cream & chick movies!  Rickie would freak me out because she NEVER planned for anything! EVER!  She just lived on the fly and did everything spur of the moment.  Now that just doesn't work for a control freak who needs her environment preplanned for every possible issue!  Secretly I would love it when she needed something & I ALWAYS had it in my car or purse, because well, you know... I would spend HOURS the day before making lists and thinking out every possible outcome and roadblock, & then pack accordingly.   I remember a trip we took together to Arizona to the "Celebrate Your Life" conference.  She was so funny when she watched me get into the hotel room, I wiped down the phone, remote etc with disinfecting wipes, then removed the bedspread & NEVER walked barefoot in out room.  Not her... she did it all without a care in the world.  Then, when our flight home was screwed up and we missed our plane and had to stay an extra night "ON THE FLY", I was about to be committed!  NO REALLY!  I was that crazy woman at the airport counter crying to the woman behind the desk that I had a Son at home and nobody to take care of him and I HAD TO GET HOME NOW!  I was in mid-panic attack when it all just broke down.   My Hubby told me he would take care of our kiddo & to stop stressing & enjoy the extra night away.  YA RIGHT!  HAVE YOU MET ME? HELLOOOOOOO...    So there I sat in our room, staring at the wall wondering how she was so damn calm!   We began to talk about it and we both began to realize just how much energy I was spending trying to be 10 steps ahead of my life in order to "control" everything... No wonder I was so tired all the time & she wasn't!  She began to really understand just how bad I had gotten and so did I...  We started right then on working to help get "me" back... I am much better now, and it took a lot of "two steps forward, one step back" moments... and yes, I still tend to slip back into those ways when life hits me a little too hard.  The difference now, is that I know if I stay too long in my cave or go too deep, she will be there to drag me out kicking and screaming all the way!  
I have also learned that we keep each other anchored to life. Just being around each other or talking over the phone seems to take the edge off of whatever FREAK OUT we are having at the moment.  We are like each others personal "prozac"!!! HA HA HA...  No matter what the issues are in life, whenever it gets overwhelming, it is usually because we need to be near each other... just the other day, she called me and said, "What are you doing today? I need to get out of this house before I lose my mind."  Well, because I was dealing with the emotions of losing my cat and trying not to think about the choices that I had to make, not to mention that this wasn't "Planned out" a day in advance so I felt this residual 'ping' of anxiety at the "spur of the moment" visit, I found myself searching my head in panic for an excuse as to why it was just not a good time... then, I took a breath... & said yes.  We hung up, I looked around then resigned that my house wasn't perfect and that was OK... After processing all the emotions and having that moment of just letting it go, I realized I probably needed her visit as bad as she did.  She walked in the door 30 minutes later, we hugged, and the stress just melted off us both.  SO ya...  She is pretty much REQUIRED to be in my life for like... FOREVER...  :)

I still enjoy imposing my insanity on her in small doses, and she is now a Mom, and has learned that my obsessive planning and list making "IN MODERATION" can be quite helpful... we joke that if you could mesh us into one person we would have it made!  :)  
My Poor husband even puts up with our crazy tangents about this conspiracy & that crazy idea...  and he has even conceded a time or two that we were right...   (IN his words, "Looks like you crazy ass Hippie people were right about this one"...)  We tell him as long as he keeps in line we will allow him in our future castle on our many acres where we plan to live totally off the grid with our chickens, goats, gardens, and weapons arsenal.  And we will build him a cottage/man cave where he can escape our shenanigans now and then.   He may be under the impression we are joking... hmmm..  :)

She is an amazing artist who paints from a place that translates into her art. Her paintings evoke many emotions and you can 'feel' it when you see them in person even more than in photos.  I find it funny when she sends me a photo of something she is working on and of coarse I love it, but then... when I see it in person, it just reaches out to you and evokes an emotional response.  Sometimes it is sexual, or sad, or powerful, or even dark but regardless, it has an energy in it that is undeniable. ( You can see her latest @ RickieLeeArt.com)

I have an amazing painting of hers in my living room, and some days when I feel a bit less than my empowered self, I just sit in my chair with my coffee and breath as I look at this amazing painting that is all about who I know I am inside... This painting has a way of helping me remember who I am.
Rickie knows the very worst and best parts of my soul & she still loves me.  And that goes both ways.   When I look at her and all we have been through, she is still that young, beautiful, free spirit that I met many lifetimes ago, and I am blessed to have her in my life!  Thank you LP for everything you have done for me and will do for me.  I could not make it through this insanity without my partner in crime.  I love you!


I pray that every person has someone in their life they can count on to be that anchor in the storm... We all  deserve to connect on a spiritual level with someone.

Have a great week...

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Getting real! Screw it... it's time to be me!

So, I have been off the Blog for brief time dealing with family and my furry family, (Had to say goodbye to my 17 yr old cat & even worse had to make the choice to have him put to sleep as we held him and cried together... ).
SO... I know I need to get back to writing, but I have felt anything BUT inspired to write. My emotions are so connected to my writing, that it seems like when shit hits the fan, I just try to shut down so I don't have to "feel" it all.   Well, that isn't really working for me any longer... It seems that all it does is turn me into a powder keg ready to blow at the most inappropriate times... NOT good.  Just ask my friends and family who get to be on the receiving end of it all...
Mulling over why I am feeling so angry and frustrated and tired and pissed off, I wondered how I can possibly deal with all these emotions??? Then I had a thought.  If I need to express it in a healthy way, why not write about it?  "Hey dumb-ass!!! Why not use this blog for exactly what you had intended it for!!!???"  
A very dear friend of mine, Rickie Lee, (My hetero-life-partner, I call her LP for short...) pointed out that although she enjoys reading my blog, she KNOWS I am holding back...  she is right.  Trying to always be PC and not OFFEND anyone does require me to "hold back" some of those feelings, emotions, and "Random Thoughts From Crazy Land"...   What the hell am I doing?  Well, no more!  From here on out I will write the very thoughts that I have & damned the judgement... By me or by you! This is my crazy ass life and these are my crazy ass thoughts and I have to be true to that! Like me or not, read it or not... At least I am being true to who I am and owning my own thoughts & feelings.  The whole reason for sharing them was for those who may be in the same dark or strange places I find myself in... maybe ,just maybe, helping someone else who might be going through this shit too... Just knowing you are not alone in it can be the lifeline for me... and maybe even for you...

SOOOO, on that note, I really need to get the last few days out...
Here's what I wanna know.   Why do they call it "Putting your pet to sleep?"  It is nothing like sleep.  Only 4 months ago, I had to watch my 16 yr old Chihuahua die.  She was almost gone by the time we got to the vet, then I sat there, caressing her as they finished the process for her. It was not sleep! It is for fucking EVER!  She was my "baby" as much as my own children are now. Some wont understand & some will... I feel sad for those who do not... you are missing out on the one true place you can get UNCONDITIONAL love.  Animals have no conditions... they just know how to love & they live to be loved back!
All those years ago when we could not have a baby, she was my saving grace.  My little Princess.  I miss her so much it still shreds my heart to pieces when I allow the feelings in.  And now only two days ago I had to do the same for our Cat, Fido, only he was NOT out of it.. He was very aware of where we were and was not sickly... yet.  :( 

Getting her bath...

<<<He was Our Chihuahua's best friend who would give her a nightly bath and put up with her feisty ways as she nipped at him demanding he bath her! And he did.
I want so badly to believe they are together now.  It would make losing them a little easier if I could only KNOW FOR SURE.  This is where my lack of faith hits me like a Mac Truck.  I envy those who blindly accept faith in life after death. I wish I could... But, no, I can't.

I have a hard time thinking about the moment they actually died.  What was that like for them?  For Her she was very out of it... but for him.... I know he was scared & nervous.  And they rip your heart out when they look at you with those questioning eyes, as I wonder to myself, "What is he thinking? Feeling? Does he hate me for doing this? Does he understand it is because we love him and do not want him to suffer?"    Then as you watch them slip away from you for the very last time and you think you might die from the massive pain in your heart, you are left walking away without them... having to leave their body forever.
Today it doesn't seem real... Wasn't he just in my lap only days ago nuzzling my arm demanding me to scratch his chin and ears?  This isn't real.  I will wake up soon... It will all just be a dream.  I WISH!
 know the stages of grief all too well.  I have buried too many family members not to be quite acquainted with death and the process.  I even took a class for being a Hospice volunteer, but after losing my 1st patient I felt like the biggest hypocrite because "how can I sit here calmly with them projecting it will all be OK, when inside I truly have no idea if that is true?"  HYPOCRITE!!!   So I stopped volunteering. :(
With my Chihuahua Peanut, I went right to that sobbing heart wrenching grief and could not stop crying... (Much like her personality...)  But with our cat, Fido, I was sad, hurt, but very pissed off... I went right to anger...  (Also reflecting his feisty personality..) I know DH has been very angry too.  Fido was more his cat than anyone's.  "His BOY"  And this from a guy who never wanted a cat but agreed because I batted my eyes at him till he said yes... Joke was on me though... He never had a cat before, only dogs, so he treated him like a dog.  Taught him to fetch, took him for walks on a leash, he named him FIDO for shit sakes!   And Fido acted more like a dog than a cat.  He guarded our home better than all 3 dogs put together.  He was pissy with guests he didn't know and SUCH A LOVE when it was just us.  People missed out on that side of him, and we were BLESSED to have it. In the end... DH got his dog after all because there was nothing "Cat" about our Fido...
So... here we are... Hurting, mad, and generally just going through the motions... Our hearts are battered, and aching... so ya,  it pretty much sucks ass and I hate the reality that we have a Shepard who is 17 yrs old and slowing very quickly, & a boxer who is 10.   I hate that I cannot stop the hands of time...  I see US aging, my kids growing faster than the speed of light and when it all gets too real,  I begin to literally have a panic attack.   I just need it to slow down or stop for just a moment.  Long enough to catch my breath... regroup... find peace in it all somehow... but no, the world keeps spinning and I am left holding on for dear life.

I pray you are both at peace and somewhere together... waiting... for us.

Ode to John Cusack... "The Cusack"

OK, so I said I would post my next blog on one of my favorite obsessions, JOHN CUSACK....  (Or as my Hubby now refers to him, "The Cusack".  (Sorry it took a week to get this done, had some family stuff to take care of... will blog later this week on all that stuff... But now, without further adieu....... HEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!)

This obsession is not at all the stalker type obsession... ok, well maybe it has been a little since finding him on Twitter and reading every Tweet, loving every picture he posts (ESPECIALLY HIS POE PICTURE! OMG... So HAWT!)    I don't know if it against any copy write laws to repost it here, but I will post the link to it.  You know, for all you other Cusack obsessing Peeps.  (here's his Yfrog ablum link: http://www.yfrog.com/froggy.php?username=johncusack)

I have pondered why I have this little obsession, and where it stems from... honestly I am just not sure.   I did fall in love with him in the early 80's watching "the Sure Thing", "Better Off Dead", "Say Anything" and many more... But I really started OBSESSING when I saw him in "Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil", "Gross Point Blank" & "Pushing Tin".  What is it about him that fascinates me?  His character in Gross Point Blank is ONE of my very favorite.  I love his off hand humor and I love how he could make Martin lovable in spite of the fact that he was a professional killer, "with scruples".  I found myself wanting to be Mini Driver!  Having that silly banter at her bedroom door, "Ya Ciant Com in!"  & "You're a F#<king Psycho"... "Don't Judge"    (Oh John, how I wanted you to give me an airplane ride...)  
Seriously though... it's more than just the eye candy that draws me in.  It isn't just his warm brown eyes and his charisma, although they are nice... I love his passion for things... It bleeds through to his work and it is mesmerizing to witness. 
Although I am SO NEW to the Twitterverse, and to following people etc., When I read John's Tweets, I still find myself drawn into his random, witty, sarcastic, passionate world. 
Do I understand who "Shockozulu" is? Not really, but I am determined to try! Although I have the impression he is an alter ego you never wanna meet alone in a dark ally if you are screwing with any of his ideologies. 
Do I love his random pics he posts on Yfrog.. hell yes! I especially enjoyed his quote from Orgy of the Dead... & If I were to respond in kind I would say, "

"As it is with all the Night 
   People, they are destroyed 
   by the first rays of the sun. 
   But upon the first appearance
   of the deep shadows of the 
   night, and when the moon is 
   full, they will return, to 
   rejoice...in their evil lust, 
   and take back with them any 
   mortal who might happen along." ~Criswell

Many People see him as quirky and strange...  I just see him as an individual Soul who is passionate on so many levels that you cannot fit him in a nice pretty package.   Intelligence and passion are sexy qualities in any man...  So I will continue to be a voyer into his world for as long as he is willing to allow.  

***Here's to you John!!! May you have many more years of success and happiness!  Cannot wait to see you as Poe in "The Raven" next fall!
p.s. PLEASE keep posting pictures of yourself in random amazing places, (clothing optional... he he) & know that it brings much joy to so many of us! 
Me more than most.... but I digress.



I want to personally thank my sweet Husband for allowing me this obsession with "The Cusack" and for putting up with my rambling on about how "John posted this... & hey check out this crazy video John posted today!"  etc...   He is MORE THAN Understanding with SO MANY of my "things"...    Thanks Baby. :)


Hope you all have a great week!  We may actually finally see snow!!!  Enjoy & Be SAFE!

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!


Franki Lynn


***photo's were obtained from press releases & media source amctv.com & in no way were intended to infringe on any copy writes.

T.I.P.S. (Things I Ponder Sometimes) ~ Lets talk 2012... Doomsday or Y2K?

T.I.P.S. is a new re-occurring topic that I thought might be fun... (it stands for "Things I Ponder Sometimes)
I wanted to name it "Shit I Ponder Sometimes" but that would be S.I.P.S. and although I love a drink now & then... I decided to stick with T.I.P.S.    (At least for now.)
I originally planned on blogging about my obsession with John Cusack.  Unfortunately I watched this thing on the History Channel about 2012 (Which I know could tie in nicely with my John Cusack obsession.) However, I found myself unable to give John the focus and attention he truly deserves because I was just too distracted with all the things swimming in my head about what I had just learned, what I know & what I don't know but kinda sorta believe. etc...   So Dear John... Just kidding, I would NEVER write him a Dear John Letter... He is and forever shall be on my Top 5... (You know, the top 5 people who if they showed up on your door and wanted to do the "Funky Monkey" with you, you wouldn't turn them down AND you have a pass from your Spouse.  THAT Top 5... DH has his own list so it's all good baby... ) So be warned, my next blog will be dedicated to my obsession that IS JOHN CUSACK!  So yummy, so talented, and he is so "odd", and is it weird that I am even more attracted to him because of it. I just can't help myself. But I digress...

Onto 2012!
I love most anything paranormal, conspiracy theory, science, metaphysical, or psi... I cannot resist watching those shows you see on the history channel & discovery & sci-fi channel... They are like a drug & I am totally hooked! I have this group of friends who also love these things, so instead of driving DH insane with my questions, and thoughts, I seek my friends and we get into these off the wall discussions that sometimes last into the wee hours of the morning.  We joke that we have all chosen the "Red Pill" but honestly there are some days that we long for the "Blue Pill" days and for a short time "ignorance is truly bliss".  I said, for a short time...
You see, my Grandpa worried, a lot. He lived through the depression & also fought in the war.  He has taught me many things, like how to pack my luggage like a GI soldier. (roll your clothes because you can fit more and they dont wrinkle.)  He also taught me that you PLAN FOR THE WORST & HOPE FOR THE BEST!  This motto has saved me more times than I can count, so when it comes to the subject of 2012 and what may or may not happen in our near future, I cannot help but fall back on that advise.

So, buckle-up buttercup, this ride is about to get weird!
****Warning... May contain slightly insane ramblings & the occasional hint of sarcasm****

~Do you ever wonder what if anything will actually occur during the solstice on 12/21/2012?
~Do you think its another crazy Y2K type scare?
~Or how about solar flares and or asteroids?   
~Or maybe the earths magnetic field will actually flip causing the outer crust to "slide" and resettle?

~And here's the "WOO WOO" Part (No the suggestions above were NOT the woo woo part! Sheesh, KEEP UP PEOPLE!)
What if  it is an energetic shift of consciousness? Like what James Redfield wrote about in the book "The Celestine Prophecies"... You know... Those who are enlightened enough & have released all fear and no longer vibrate at lower levels will just vibrate to a new plane of existence leaving the rest of the poor unenlightened folks behind.
(Here's a random thought... What if this IS "the one"...  If it is, can I please request a list of instructions on EXACTLY what I must accomplish to be able to vibrate to the next level.  You see, I just do better with lists. Thanks in advance!)  

I have no clue what to believe or how to 'fully' prepare... and I guess this is what keeps this subject active in my mind.   I know you may be thinking... Wow! Is she serious? Does she really beleive this stuff?  Is she one of  "those people"... you know who I mean...   The ones who ride the "Crazy Train"...   Maybe.

WARNING!!!!!  ONLY read on if you DARE!!!   The following may just infect you with the "crazy train syndrome". The very same syndrome that has me & my fellow crazy train friends heading down the tracks, riding that crazy train right into our hidden underground bunkers where we store our food, water supplies, natural healing remedies, survival guides, and the all important ammo & gun reserves...   I hear Ozzy... ALL ABOARD!!!!  HA HA!!!! No really... I am listening to him on my iPod.  :)

Here is what I do know:

***NASA released a statement warning of a major solar flare increase in the year.... ready for this???? You guessed it!!! 2012!!!!!  Really!!!  The effects of which would be CHAOS & DEATH!  Did you know it only takes 18 hours to reach earth?  Not a whole lot of planning time there. One of the outcomes when it hits earth is the entire electrical grid would be wiped out for months!!!  That means you lose everything! Unless you have a well with a hand pump, most water comes from a place where a computer and electricity are need to get it to you. Stores would close, what will you eat? And no electricity to pump the gas, sorry folks!  Don't forget all that meat in your freezer, because it's going to spoil unless you have a way to keep it cold. And with only 18 hours notice, do you honestly think anyone (anyone meaning our government) would tell us what's coming knowing we didn't have enough time to do anything about it except act like frightened crazed animals?  hmmm...   Think this isn't real?  Here is a video of the fox news report from youtube >>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_TzIUlaQok

***Just a month ago in the news they reported that an airport in Tampa, Florida, had to temporarily close its runways to adjust the signs on its busiest runway because pilots depend on the magnetic fields to navigate to keep up with Earth's magnetic north pole, which is drifting toward Russia at a rate of 40 miles per year.  (Did you catch that?  The MAGNETIC NORTH POLE IS MOVING PEOPLE!)   Look it up... there are loads of news stories that reported on this one!

***As for the asteroid theory... well there isn't really much to say.  If this happens we are pretty much screwed.  Even Bruce Willis & Ben Aflec can't save us on this one.  I guess you tuck your head between your legs and kiss your ^ss goodbye.  

***Now let's for a minute just think about this theory of vibrating out of existence. I have read the Celestine Prophecies and I have tried some of the techniques in the book. had 'some' success and yes I do believe that may be possible.  I heard a man named Michael Tamura speak at a conference I attended who told a story of when he was in a bank, and a robbery occurred & in the midst of the chaos he realized the robbers could not see him.  He was right there facing him and the guy almost looked through him as if he was not there.  His theory or belief was that being the spiritual man he was and the way he understood energy, he assumed because these men vibrated at such a low frequency & he was able to maintain his higher frequency as long as he didn't allow fear to play into it, they literally could not see him.    Strange huh? Crazy even?  Maybe.  

Who really knows what to believe...  I am a seeker.  Always searching for my truth.  I change my beliefs as often as I need to with the new information I am given and I believe that change is the only true constant thing you can truly rely on.  So for me, I guess the end result is that I will keep thinking and researching and planning for what I can control.  The rest is out of my hands.  
Yes I have emergency water, food and a generator at home. I keep an emergency backpack in my car.
Recently I bought this really HUGE book on how to survive any disaster.  (Maybe I should read it instead of using it as a paper weight for my taxes.  hmmm.)    And if I never need these things, I am grateful, but if I do...  Well, I don't see the harm in being prepared.    

My BFF & I always joke that we don't want to SOUND like those raving crazy people out there or attract this fear based thinking into our lives, but there is also a balance between being prepared and being ignorant.

So there you have it... a peek inside the mind of a whacked out housewife & mom who just may be a step ahead of the game due to her wise and wonderful Grandpa & her slightly paranoid and controlling ways. 


ps... What will you do if the shit hits the fan people, seriously...  you should get your own back-up plan now, because if you wait it may be too late!   
Better Safe than Sorry my Grandpa always says.  :)  

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Bullying... A serious issue, even for 1st grade?!!?!

OK, So this will fall under the topic of CRAZY MOMMY TIRADE!

My Son TJ who just turned 7yrs old attends a very good school. He attends a Montessori Charter & they encourage the children to be self sufficient and learn to handle their own conflict resolution.  I support this and have been trying to be patient... UNTIL NOW!

So here goes... I pick him up yesterday and one of the staff follows him out to let me know they had some "trouble" at recess and wanted me to be aware that he and 3 other boys decided the best way to handle it was to say they would just "Kill themselves".  YES FOLKS 7 year old boys...  I immediately had my heart sink and panic overtook my head.  I didn't know what to say to him and my gut reaction was to just MAKE HIM NEVER THINK THAT AGAIN...  OK, yes it was irrational, and NO... I didn't say it to him... but my thoughts were racing...  I went from...  Is this something I need to get him counseling for?  Is he serious? Does he understand what this really means? (Without too detailed in my kid's personal lives, understand that we adopted special needs children and depression is something we knew he may inherit. Hence my extremely overboard freak-out panic.)  So after I called my darling husband to freak out... he did his job... calmed me down, and reminded me to get the whole story prior to allowing my emotions to dictate my response.  (Good job Hunny!  I really needed that kick in the pants to remind me who I am and how we want our children to be raised.) 
I proceeded to get off the phone & begin a "Conversation" with my Son.   He explained that after he and his 3 friends had an encounter with a girl from his school.. (She has been the topic of MANY issues with trying to force her opinions on him or bossing him, and yes even getting physical with him by either shoving or trying to kick him & others.)     Bottom line, she was doing this again and it turned physical just as they were finishing recess, so this time the boys decided if they could no longer have fun at school without her intervening, that they would just have to kill themselves to get away from her antics.   Do I think they meant it LITERALLY... no.  But the fact that they went there at all, worries me.  When children see a situation hopeless enough to want to "disappear" to avoid the conflict any longer, then unfortunately I and the adults in charge have failed these kids miserably.
As he & I went over the words they had chosen, and what they truly meant, I reminded him that "Words are power". I then explained how if he were truly gone, just how much I would miss his hugs, Daddy would miss his laughter, and MJ would miss having an amazing Big Brother to teach him about life and fun, we both began to cry... The seriousness of his words hit us both at once like having the air knocked out of your soul...  I hugged him & explained that I was not trying to make him feel worse, but that he must understand the bigger picture of what he said and the consequences of what that truly means.    It was an emotional talk and also a good talk.  I think he has a new understanding of JUST how valuable he is to all of those people who love him and how missed he would be.
I plan to meet with his teacher & the school admin once they are back. (Both are out for a few days unfortunately) but I have instructed him and the staff at school to be aware, and to support him in his self empowerment to be able to tell her to "Please leave me alone if you cannot be nice" & to seek the help of the staff if she does not back off. 

He has the right to be at school without being stalked by someone who sees him as an easy target because he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve.  I feel helpless to protect him from the emotional pain that some kids can inflict upon those who may be a bit more sensitive... My kiddo has a HUGE HEART, and no he isn't perfect, but he isn't aggressive or a tormentor like I have seen from some children.  He is calm and a "helper" and loves to mentor the younger children.  He is a patient and AWESOME Big Brother and it breaks my heart to see him let another child hurt him for being who he is. I LOVE who he is, and I don't want him to TOUGHEN UP to survive... I love that he is sensitive and loving and a goofball who just wants to have everyone around him love him...  I also understand this may not be realistic in this world... I also want him protected...

So my question to the universe is>>>>>>>>>>>>>   How do I protect him from this and teach him to be self empowered without losing his gentleness... How?

My heart is just breaking for him.  

2/6 Update:
The next day all the kids gathered to talk about what happened.  They all had a chance to tell this little girl how she made them feel.  In the end, she apologized & seemed genuinely sorry.  & in his own words... "Mom, now we are like best friends!"   (too bad adults cannot forgive & forget so easily... If we could deal with world issues like these kiddos, I wonder what our world would look like?  hmmm...)

The Good The Bad & The ANNOYING!

Let's start with the Good:
 I love it when my Hubby looks at me with his piercing green eyes in that way that STILL gives me butterflies and makes me believe I am as beautiful as he sees me to be.
I Love it when TJ & I play Wii fit and whether its hula-hoop or ski jump, we seem to end up laughing so hard we fall off the Wii Fit Board... His laughter is so contagious and his smile hits you in the heart like lightning.

I also love it when I am rocking my MJ and he holds my hand and snuggles in a little more than normal.  That feeling when your heart expands and is just ready to burst... It is the best feeling in the world!  I cannot imagine my life without my boys. (All 3 of them)   They truly do feed my soul... (Yes some days they also drain my soul... honesty is a must... but most days I believe I am filled.)

The Bad:

My Mother is currently caring for her Father in her home. (My Grandpa)  He is 97.  He has lived a full amazing life... He has outlived 3 wives, and survived black lung as a lifetime coal miner.  He has been on Hospice a few months now, and made the comment to my Sister a while back, "I just don't know what I am waiting for."   He has been ready but his body has not... Until now... it seems his body is starting the process now... He has decreased his food intake to nothing but hot chocolate. His blood pressure is dropping, and now his lungs are filling with fluid due to an URI.  I am 4 hours from Mom, and I am unable to be there to help.  I don't like feeling helpless, but even more I worry about my Mom.  Her health isn't the best and she is watching her Father die.  Her time with him up to now has been a true gift, and once he is gone, she will cherish the time she was given to care for him.  The hard stuff will be worth it all... But right now... it just sucks.  I am sending love and peaceful thoughts to them both.  I talk to her by phone & reassure her that she has done everything she can and is amazing to be able to do what she does every day.  I love my Grandpa and I wish him a peaceful crossing.  We had our goodbye the last time I went to Mom's.  As for my Mom... You are my hero in so many ways, & even though I give you grief for allowing folks to take advantage of your good will, or for being harder on your own kids than everyone else... But.... Honestly, I can only hope that if you leave this Earth before me, that I am blessed to have you as my Guardian Angel. You will be a force to be reckoned with!  :)



The Annoying:

P90X is a workout program designed by Tony Horton. (He is the goofball to the left...) For those who have not had the pleasure... just youtube P90X and find a video sample of this guy.   I admit, I hate to exercise so that may be a factor in my inability to find humor in “Let's make it X like… not exlax that's somethin different” or During towel hopping when he says ‘let's get to it like bunny rabbits!’ There's even a blog on his sayings, really...   http://101tonyisms.wordpress.com/
OK, so I admit the workouts are tough! And yes I do hate them & love them... Mostly I love how I feel when I am done, and I love working out with my Hubby.  But seriously, I actually find myself bantering at the damn TV screen at this man! He has got to get himself a better joke writer & a slightly less inflated ego...  His annoyance is lost in translation... you really have to experience it to understand... You will either Love him or want to kick him in the nuts.  :)   I will keep doing this crazy workout until either he grows on me or I invest in earplugs while I do the workout... hey, there's an idea!


Well, that's it...  The weekend is wrapping up and Monday starts a new week of fun.   Enjoy the journey people... You only get each minute of your life once... Make it the best you can & get the most out of it.

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Alternate Reality... Can I borrow your "ruby red slippers" Dorothy? I wanna go home...

Is it just me or has the entire world shifted into an alternate universe where every person has lost their damn minds!?!?!?

All around me it seems that chaos has run a muck... People who I know to be 'mostly normal" seem to be losing it... There is this feeling in the air that everything is just a bit "off"... Like some shift has occurred and nobody bothered to tell anyone... "Oh hey, by the way... hold onto your pantyhose because your lives are about to be flipped on their asses!" Even my children are "off"...
It just seems very odd & has me sort of feeling on 'high alert'... I find myself evaluate everything for "signs" of whether or not this decision is o.k., or will this choice bite me in the buttocks?

It's like that "feeling" you get when you walk into a room of people & you know something just "isn't right"... Well in this case it is like that but for the whole world! (Or at least the world that immediately affects me & those I know...)

Has anyone else felt this... Going through this?
What do you do to deal with it? Usually I am the "Queen of compartmentalizing"... Unfortunately, ALL MY COMPARTMENTS ARE FULL!!! {Sick toddler, lack of sleep, Grandfather trying to exit life, P90X kicking my ass making me feel even worse about myself, friends losing it, war, animal cruelty, planetary abuse, alien abductions, government conspiracies, not to mention I JUST found out Medium & Ghost Whisperer have been canceled!}
Honestly.. I really can't deal with more than I have on my plate... ;)
Today I actually heard myself whine... really... That is it... I think a bottle of wine with dinner tonight along with a brownie for dessert is in my future!

Seriously though... I plan to take some advice from Miss Winfrey & take a minimum of 1 minute a day & be in silence & just breath. It is said to make you happier, & therefore I must assume better able to deal with this Crazy thing called LIFE!

Here's hoping next week finds us all back in the "flow"... This reality isn't for me.

Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

To Blog or not to blog... is less more?

I have recently spent some time setting up my blog and making it look "pretty"...
I had noticed that my ads at the bottom seem to choose the ad type based on my blog content... So the fact that they are ads for drugs to treat schizophrenia and meds for when you "hear voices in your head"... well... lets just say, it really makes a girl think. Come on Google... I have also blogged about Coffee, Poop, Spirituality, and diapers... but no ads on those.... oh no...
I am not joking I even took a screne shot of it... Is the Universe trying to tell me something?!?

OK, seriously... Let me get to the point of today's blog...
I had originally planned to blog daily, like a journal. It worked great the first 5 days, then... all of the sudden... nothing major happened in my reality & I had nothing to say. Well, nothing GREAT, INTERESTING, FUNNY or SARCASTIC... "Now what do I do?"
Well, I blogged anyway, but with mixed reviews from "the peanut gallery" (That would be Hubby & BFF Life Partner)

So here is my question to the universe... (Because I am so new and have only a handful of followers and do not yet get much feedback... I will include "The UNIVERSE") :)
Riddle me this... Is it better to blog about whatever every day, or only blog when I truly FEEL it? I can honestly say I agree with them that my writing is 'funner' to read when I am really feeling it. And yes it "flows much better & is less Schizophrenic" as my darling Hubby refereed to my blog about the voices in my head... (BTW... I was FEELING schizophrenic... that was the point.) :D

SO I guess I just need to figure out if I want to blog each day for myself just to keep it going regularly, or skip a day or two when I don't feel it until I really have something to say or rant about. decisions decisions decisions...

I would also love to figure out how to review books... As many as I devour in a month I would love to share my thoughts on those! I had plan to add a page of book reviews too, but I need to figure out how that works. Baby steps.
I am currently re-reading The Immortals After Dark Series... If you like Steamy para-romance... give them a try. They get better with every book and the characters are FUN!

Well... That is about it. Have a great week!


Namaste' & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn

Balance... Is this the elusive pot of gold?

I find myself in a constant pursuit of this elusive thing called 'balance'. I seek balance between family & friends. Balance between Husband & Children. Balance between my personal pursuits & my family. Balance between my work pursuits and my passionate pursuits. Balance between food, exercise, and enjoying life. (I must be honest... I am NOT a lover of exercise nor will I ever be... I will only do it because the alternative is that I either die an early death due to obese related medical issues, or I limit my portions and what I allow to touch my tongue... Neither of which is an option for me... so... Exercise I must.)

I know I cannot be alone on this, and I know my friends share the same frustrations. Some of us have even gone as far as making a schedule. But honestly, for whatever reason, this time my schedule seems to be elusive as well. It is packed so full it does not allow for detours from the plan. Because of this, sickness, or surprise activities tend to throw the whole thing into a spiraling vortex of doom that takes a miracle to rebound from in order to get back on track.

Does anyone ever truly find this thing called balance? Or maybe my perspective of what balance is needs to shift... hmmmm... there's a thought.
What if my expectations of what I think balance should "look" like is so out of whack that my schedule could never truly hold up to this unrealistic idea. I would honestly LOVE to hear your thoughts on this...

I have pondered these things a lot... and honestly I think although I will continue to try to use my schedule... I think I will have to just give in to the fact that life is ever changing and we cannot plan for everything... (This concept scares a control freak such as myself... but I am working on those issues too)

I am resolved to give myself a break instead of judging my daily success by what I did NOT achieve from my daily list of tasks.

I hope we can all find joy in the chaos and peace in the journey of our lives... I think maybe that will be my new goal... and within that I may just see the truth of what balance truly is.

Namaste" & PEACE OUT!

Franki Lynn